Bullied

I have been bullied since school. Definition of bully untuk aku not physical abusement, mental bully, cyber bully.

"Split personality" they said.


I should just ignore kan. Tapi tu lah, bila the one yg rapat dgn aku pun say like that. The one yg aku bole kata kekuatan aku, yg aku ingat kenal aku, pergi ke golongan yg sama sama tindas aku.

And surprisingly,
dia la kepala bapaknya.
Perli, mock aku dekat twitter dgn member lain.

So, I left you.
Being fair and square.

I thought Tuhan da lepaskan aku,
tapi tak.
He gave me more than that when I get to college life.

Tahu jela college. Entah budak dari pelusuk mana satu kelas.
Mentality, personality..
Damn la.

Luckily, I got this one girl yg don't give single damn about what people said. Sekarang da faham la kenapa my previous friendship selalu berpecah macam tu je..

I have my own perception about friendship.
If you can't understand mine, then its fine,
But if you can't shut your mouth, then don't blame me for being mean..

Bully kill souls..

Look at my mindset, 
Revenge.
And I'm equal to people yg bully aku.

So, I let them go 
and
laugh at my own flaws..

Die

And we were really young at that time,

I know you didn’t mean to love me but you did,

And I thought I wouldn’t get in this game but I did.

As we grown up,

Things changed,

You’ve to study abroad,

And I’m still at the same place

Where we build some memories that never fade away.

Its very devastated

When I knew you got so much time

To keep in touch with my friend

But not me, yours.

Stupid young girl am I

Accept you everytime you sad and cry

But I’m not there when you’re having fun.

Oh God please tell me why

Why I keep loving someone who gave me so much to cry

Why you don’t just let me die..

Bahagia

Banyak hal kita tak boleh kongsi dalam dunia,
Walau macamana kita percaya,
Simpan sikit untuk diri kita.

Aku tak nak luka yang kau rasa,
Terpalit dalam cerita kita berdua,
Biarlah kalau tiada lagi hala tujuannya,
Berpisah lah cara bahagia.

Sayang,
Sungguh kau buat aku tenang,
Setenangnya pejam mata kala bulan mengambang,
Selembutnya mimpi indah bertandang.

Kesat airmata mu,
Kau sedang bersama ku,
Bahagia yang ingin aku tuju,
Agar hatimu tak lagi membeku.

Andai sakit aku dapat kau sentuh,
Dan kau tarik keluar menyeluruh,
Nescaya tenang aku punya roh,
Tanpa bayangan si bangsat yang angkuh.

Suatu hari aku akan pergi,
Waktu mimpi sedang mencapai realiti,
Saat kau berpaling ke mari,
Mungkin aku tiada lagi di sisi.



Saat itu,
Cari lah bahagia mu sayang..

Jarak

540km yang pisahkan kita

Jangan bimbang

Takkan pernah hilang rasa

Aku akan cuba selalu ada.

Penat

Tapi cuba pelan-pelan

Tak kisah berapa jauh

Kau tetap yang utama.

Bangun tidur, suara kau

Rehat, suara kau

Sebelum tidur, suara kau

Bukak laptop, tengok gambar/video kau

Bukak fon, gambar kau

Bukak wallet, gambar kau.

Itu jela pengubat rindu aku 2 bulan ni

Nak whatsapp malam je sempat

Siang masing masing dalam ward.

Maafkan aku kalau aku cari pasal selalu

Maafkan aku kalau aku termarah selalu

Maafkan aku kalau kau rindu tapi cuma diam aku mampu..

Sebab itu je yang aku mampu..

Tiba-tiba takde kau

Apalagi aku mampu buat

Selalu celaru

Selalu buntu.

Tapi aku tahu

Kau kenal aku

Walau jauh berbatu

Aku masih aku..

JB Writer and Reader Festival

Sabtu 14/9 aku pergi #JBWRF dekat Danga Bay Marina Club. Dapat lah beli barang yang aku nak. Sampai je aku cari favourite writer aku, hampeh takde. Aku tanya brader ni, dia kata writer yang lain balik hotel. Hmm hampa sikit..

Pastu dah beli barang dekat terfaktab, pipah nampak car sticker dekat dubookpress, dia pun beli. Then, pergi booth iamlejen.. Aku godeh lah baju baju tu jakgi jumpa baju Awek Chuck Taylor wehhhh! Wuhuuuuuu! Aku angkat satu. Pipah beli lagi car sticker dari iamlejen..

Sebenarnya kamar sutera tu sudah ku tukar jadi konserkova.

Ahad 15/9 sekali lagi gua pergi sana sebab baju yg gua beli ketat sikit. Tak selesa aku. Nasib baik boleh tukar. Sampai je sana, gua dah senyum.. Hehe sebab nampak favourite writer aku. Wiiiiiiiiii! Lepas beli, aku borak kejap dgn dia.. pastu amek gambarrrrrr! Nasib baik bila aku mention aku ni slapper, dia kenal. Hehehehe :D

Habis je amek gambar dia tanya aku duduk mana. Hehe pastu gua pun cauuuu! Aku pun tak tahu lah kenapa aku minat cara penulisan dia. Dah minat, nak buat guane..

Okay itu je. Papaii :D

Follow the flow

Tak seperti yang orang lain kata,
Aku takkan berjanji selalu ada masa,
Sebab kita berdua dah pilih jalan ni,
Our job need a full commitment from us..

Selalu aku fikir kenapa Tuhan jarakkan lagi hubungan yang baru nak erat ni? But then aku fikir balik, kalau tak jauh macamana tahu rindu? Tapi, ini jauh sangat. Hujung dengan hujung. How am I gonna go through all this?

Entah laa. Belum hadapi dah gelabah satu hati. Human being right, takutkan benda yang tak pasti. But macam yang dia ingatkan aku siang tadi, comunicate tu penting. Gaduh sikit jangan diam.. Sebab aku pesen pendam. Takut rosak dalam. 

But no worries, all is well.. Aku dah set mind aku balik macam 4 bulan lepas, sebelum aku sambung study. Method dia senang, follow the flow..

Tonight is the last night you are here..
Hey, kau tahu aku akan rindu kau sangat.
Brace yourself sayang,
2bulan.. its gonna be bumpy ride.

Deep down feeling.

Is it worth fighting for you?
Dalam 2 3 bulan akan datang, will we be the same?
Aku tanya, aku takut,
Aku tak suka hilang kau.

Kau janji, apa jadi kita bincang
Kenal tak sampai sebulan,
Mana muncul rasa sayang?
Jangan. Terlalu awal.

Sayang belum ada
Rasa ambil berat yg sebati
Betul aku kata
Kau cukup menarik hati.

As I growing up
I know where to draw some line
So that no one get hurt
By the most faking damn feeling.

But again, we are human being
That try so hard to deny the feeling
Because we afraid of leaving
And we let go the one who keep loving.

I write because I can't speak
I'll never mad if you didn't understand what I mean
Live in a grey area alone
Makes me even stronger though.

Tell me, what should I do?
Everytime I try to move on 
And stay on the right path
That damn feeling keep coming
With someone and perfection.

Love and perfection
Its universal
You can't describe with a full sentence
No. You can't.

Give me time
Not for you
But for myself
For me to prove that I can beat that feeling
Because the most enemies comes from within
It is yourself..