2014

I'm gonna write in this entry till you get bored so if you are inpatient bitch, don't read.

I still don't have a closure. I still really don't know what I want in my life walaupun aku selalu cakap habis diploma aku nak sambung degree in cardio and fly to Arab untuk kerja sana. But actually, I am still searching.

Dulu, the only way I express my anger is with writing. Sekarang I found a lot of distraction to do that and make me angry more sebab aku tak tau nak apply anger tu dekat mana. 2014 as I remember didn't taught me a lot except I got dumped (again) by my love one and pointer aku turun gila banyak.

I blame anyone? No but somehow org yg belajar main-main macam aku still can maintain their pointer. Lesson learned, rezeki. Ada yg pura-pura sedih konon insaf pointer turun.

I have been dealing with almost amount of bullshit and fake people every single day so if you think I didn't know what is inside your head, take a shot and see where's your bullet go. 

Too much hatred and negativity? I'm sorry, life has taught me in a hard way. But I still know where's my limit, where to take a shot and where to save a bullet.

Dulu dulu masa sekolah ingat tak kalau tak suka someone, mesti end up kena pandang badi. Tapi sekarang da lain. Orang tu sakai, entah pape macamane pun tetap kena tengok muka and terima nasib sendiri tiap hari. If you can't change how the world works, change the way you think.

I am bad and I have guts to admit it.

Will you?

Future me

Taip, padam. Taip, padam.
Tak tahu kenapa aku perlu jaga hati orang yg sakitkan aku.

Yes, I'm broken and I'm typing this not because I'm asking for your sympathy nor to blame you.

I'm doing this because I have nothing more to lose.

Dear future me,

If you're reading this it means your heart is no longer there. You might not believe that this is who you are, just take a glance at the mirror and remind yourself that you are broken enough in order to be strong enough.